It has been a while since I’ve updated the blog. I really enjoyed writing in the lead up to my marathon debut at Cadbury. I was going to write about my Singapore/Thailand Holiday but never quite got around to it (I might still do it because I have so many stories I want to share). I don’t know quite what happened but I seemed to have hit a wall after achieving 42.2km in January.
It all started when I got back from holidays and went back to work. I tried to keep my running up and was doing well until I hurt my foot. It was a niggling injury that started around 30km into the run at Cadbury that escalated once I started to increase my distances again. My last long run was 15km on the Pipeline on February 8….and that wasn’t even a proper long run. Running was painful. I pushed through but then I just couldn’t anymore. I’ve been to the physio and I either have plantar fasciitis or swelling on my heel bone. I nearly cried when a full week of rest (no running at all) was recommended along with a very restricted return to running program.
To add to this, I put on 5kg. The weight gain is depressing. I understand that the reason behind it is because I kept eating like I was training for a marathon. I wasn’t running 40+km a week but fueling myself like I was. Big mistake.
All of the above took its toll on my motivation. I hated the way I looked and the way I felt and I still do to a certain extent. I thought that after running the marathon I could just keep going and I was absolutely gutted that was not the case. I felt like a failure.
Today I felt compelled to write because I’m starting to snap out of it. While I’m not completely over it I feel I’ve turned a corner and here’s why. Despite an exhausting week at the cheesemine I still managed to run a couple of mornings. I lost 2 of the 5kgs I gained by watching what I ate and increasing my non-run based activity. I had an AMAZING run this morning despite not really feeling up to the task. I really had to talk myself into running today because I was feeling tired and lethargic. This morning I ran the fastest I have since my Cadbury training. Not blindingly fast but fast enough to know that I’m getting better, fitter and stronger. The best part was I finally felt that running feeling again – the euphoria of those endorphins flowing through my veins. That feeling of being happy to be ALIVE. All this on an “off” day…imagine if today was an “on” day – I would have smashed a PB or two!
There were so many times over the past few months that I thought to myself I would hang up the runners for good. I woke in cold sweats with nightmares about collapsing on course at the Chicago Marathon. The negative self-talk or as one of my friends so eloquently puts it “the shitty committee” was loud and distorting reality. What is helping me break through this wall is remembering my achievements, focussing on the things I can change and getting inspiration from amazing runners by participating in group runs. And of course, days like today which remind me of why I love to run.
I want to say thanks to everyone who has shared their story with me and has inspired me to keep running. A wise woman once said to me “you are never not influencing” and that is so true. So thanks again to the people that have influenced me over the years and most recently. It might not seem like much to you but your experience and words of encouragement are gold.
I’ve got some lofty goals I want to achieve. While I may not achieve them all I’m going to give them all a fair crack! Most of all I’m going to run happy.
Post Run Glow
