I’m writing from seat 24B on Air New Zealand flight 104. I’ve got a long journey and 2 more flights before I hit my final destination, Chicago. When you’re forced to be with yourself for that amount of time you can’t help but reflect, well I at least I do anyway. The reason for this epic journey is to run the Chicago Marathon.
I’ve been training for the better part of the year and things went pear shaped 2 weeks ago with a heel injury. I have to admit that I was in a bit of a funk. I’m upset that my hopes at PB are just about shattered. Basically, I’ve been one of those whining runners… we all know them. However, now that I’ve had a few moments to myself away from the corporate and everyday routines I’m excited, emotional and proud.
The old me that still weighs me down sometimes
The journey to this race has been 4 years (or even a lifetime) in the making. 4 years ago I took responsibility for my health, lost 30kg and started running. I actually abhorred running before I reluctantly started on a dare from my sister. I remember my high school days in Chicago when I did everything I could to get out of gym class when we had to run. I hated having to run a mile for some standard fitness test we had to do. I still vividly remember not being even able to run the straights of the track without feeling like I was about to die. Now I do regular track training and I’m running my second marathon …. for FUN. Hell, I’m even a member of an athletics club and run Cross Country!
I have come so far from those old school days. Oddly enough it was a ghost from my high school past that planted this crazy marathon idea in my head. He posted about his Chicago Marathon fundraising campaign and I thought “wow wouldn’t it be amazing to run a marathon in Chicago?” Now, just a couple of years later I’m on a plane doing it just that.
The new me!
High School wasn’t the most amazing time for me. Overweight, awkward and uncomfortable in my own skin just about sums it up. I came good for a brief period in my twenties and then I had some serious medical issues and the weight piled on again. I battle those inner demons from time to time and more so lately. I still carry that fat girl around on my back, she is me but she’s not me. She reminds me of where I’ve been and where I don’t want to go back to. She fills my head full of rubbish thoughts and tells me I’m not good enough, fast enough and kidding myself thinking I can run. When I run she is silenced. I fly. Happy, free, unfettered and unstoppable.
This run is so important to me. It is my homecoming. My affirmation that I am good enough, strong enough and determined enough to accomplish what only 1% of the population achieve. The support and positive messages from my friends has been so inspiring and puts things in perspective when I’ve been listening to “her” too much. They believe in me even when I doubt myself. Thank you – you know who you are.
I’m still nervous about Sunday. That’s normal. But I do know one thing, I’ve already won just by standing at that start line. Time to be stop being so hard on myself, take the pressure off and just run for the sheer pleasure of running in the beautiful city of Chicago with a smile on my face.
The new me in action – Ross half 2016
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